Crossroads – by Lewis Bull

Everyday is different, each has their own ups and downs. How I’m going to face them proves to be a difficult one each single day.

It was easy coming up with the title for this piece, each day can go one way or the other, will I be feeling anxious or low? What will happen in life for me today? Will I see a face I want to or simply dream of things I wish to be in life, growing ever more discontent with the world around me not being sure whether or not I’m going mad day by day!

In writing this piece I am reminded of the one saying I cannot bear to hear “Everyone has the same feelings”. Being compared to everyone else in terms of mental health is very frustrating.

Whilst physical exercise is helping, sometimes it’s hard to get past my anxiety sometimes having to leave the gym due to my anxiety. And finding it all the more tough to go back the next day. Another thing I’ve started to notice is from time to time finding it harder to get out of bed pondering whether or not to stay in bed.

Weeks I know I’m struggling are when I’ve not watched a single film to try to escape when I guess it’s too hard to turn away from, whilst at the same time I’m unable to see the characters I’ve created to help me.

I finish by saying living in the moment sucks but I won’t give up!

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’” – C. S. Lewis

© Lewis Bull 2017

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Read Lewis’ previous contributions:

• The Goblin Known as Anxiety and Stress
• Anxiety and Solitude
• Anxiety and Friendships
• Anxiety and being on Benefits
• Anxiety and Me
• Anxiety and Openly Showing Emotions
• Me, them and our mental health
• Anxiety, fear and depression
• Anxiety and its Tricks of the Mind
• Worry how you plague us so!
• Battles with the Poison Parrot
• Going Nowhere (Why Me Anxiety?)
• The Road to Nowhere
• The Story of Me, Them and Others

The wonderful photograph was taken by Mike Enerio and acquired through Unsplash. It’s a great source for free photos under the Creative Commons Zero license, so check it out!

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