Anxiety · Depression · Stress

The Road to Nowhere – by Lewis Bull


Life after CBT was always going to be tough, it is for anyone, trying to use the strategies I’ve learnt is very hard sometimes, still expecting perfection from myself and feeling like a failure to those closest to me. Sometimes it’s hard to see something right in front of me and I can see it in the faces of those I talk to about this that they don’t understand me; some I know don’t even understand why I continue to write. I guess I need it more than I thought.

There are times that I am able to use the most effective CBT tool I’ve been given, using character representations for anxiety etc., sometimes it works and I thank god I have them to help deal with stuff. I have now also taken part in a mindful living course, whilst this sort of thing helps with breathing it is very hard sometimes to completely forget said breathing techniques in difficult situations!

At times darkness seems to take over my mind and would make me think that I am going nowhere whilst others are moving forward in their lives; despite the positive comments of others it’s hard to see how far I have come despite the best efforts of those I trust most. Whilst the goblin (I hope whoever’s reading this knows the reference) is ever present I try my best to ignore him, increasing my physical activity and medication have helped big time in keeping calm throughout my day.

Wanna say thank you to anyone who continues to read my pieces.

“I am and always will be the optimist hoper of far-flung and the dreamer of improbable dreams!” – The Doctor
© Lewis Bull 2016

Read Lewis’ previous contributions:

5 thoughts on “The Road to Nowhere – by Lewis Bull

  1. Recovery is a long process, filled with ups and downs. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you are making progress! That’s great that you’ve found what helps is increasing your physical activity and meds. Take care, Jenny


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