Depression or anxiety
Which of you holds the key?
Are you both my jailers
Or are you as one?
Feeding like flies on foul-smelling meat,
You blood-sucking leeches
You cower and cheat!
Why don’t you come out with it,
Face to Face?
Do you want to harm me?
Are you trying to protect me?
I loathe the way you derange and destroy,
Decaying my dreams, my love, pride and joy.
You render me inactive,
Negate my works creative.
I flee from friends and family,
I fear you’re trying to hang me.
I take my medication,
It causes deep negation,
Angst, anger, agitation.
I want to crush you between my two hands,
Unbuckle the shackles and iron-bound bands,
Banish melancholy, clear out the drains,
Be no longer a pawn in your devilish game.
You evil, conniving partners of darkness,
Derangers, cruel jailers, negativity feeders,
Stop pounding my brain waves, get out of my life.
I want to relate to my children and wife.
My spirit needs nourishment, set my soul free.
Life! – Where’s your joy? Give it to me!
© Steve Plowright
An invocation to be used as a weapon against two old foes who refuse to stay away.
About the author:
Steve is a poet, a singer, and a familiar concertina player in the town of Beeston, Nottingham. He has ‘always had a need to be open about [his] mental health’ and has even put together a poetry collection entitled Bi-polar Rhythms which features ‘Cruel Jailers’ among many others. Steve kindly agreed to submit this poem to Letters to the Mind in that it adheres to the act of writing to your mental health problem.