In this post I thought I’d reflect upon how having anxiety can cause paranoia when facing certain events or challenges and how this paranoia can cause stress leading to changes in behavior or at its most extreme weight loss.
I have faced this particular situation, several years ago I was invited to a family gathering, at first, I said I would attend but in my head knew I didn’t want to go, as the event drew closer the goblin in my head came up with the idea of feigning illness to get out of going, it started with faking stomach ache by punching myself in the stomach and basically stopped not eating properly in order to prove I was ill. Paranoia took its grip by setting my mind racing over every assumed outcome if I said I didn’t want to go. After finally saying I didn’t want to go I thought I’d gotten out of it but whenever the question arose why I didn’t want to go I would just freak out and was barely able to answer the question.
Though I managed to get out of going to this event, this lead to me not going to so many more for several years. It was this behavior that lead to my family asking the question why do you spend so much time in your room, but after writing these blogs has helped them understand my reasons behind this.
I think another trick anxiety has held over me was not knowing how to show emotion properly, from not showing it, to being overly emotional, Though I think with the help of CBT and those around me I’m figuring this out one step at a time.
I think I’ll end this by saying when it comes to mental health all is not what it seems. It’s time to step out from the shroud of the misconception that so many of us face today.
© Lewis Bull 2016
Read Lewis’ previous contributions:
- The Goblin Known as Anxiety and Stress
- Anxiety and Solitude
- Anxiety and Friendships
- Anxiety and being on Benefits
- Anxiety and Me
- Anxiety and Openly Showing Emotions
- Me, them and our mental health
- Anxiety, fear and depression
“My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on.” – Forrest Gump
The wonderful photograph was taken by Pierre Rougier and acquired through Unsplash. It’s a great source for free photos under the Creative Commons Zero license, so check it out!