In this post I thought I’d write about how anxiety has affected my mental state when out in town or in general social situations.
I wrote in one of my previous blogs about being bullied, and now it turns out this has affected me more than I realize, whenever out on my own and approaching a particular group of people my immediate response is threat! The flight or fight response takes over, if its flight I’ll seek to go in a separate direction to that group and get away from them as quickly as possible. If its fight then my muscles tense up and my hands ball up into fists for what I assume is that inevitable fight as either I approach them or vice versa anxiety causes me to assume the worst is going to happen, yet as soon as we pass each other anxiety starts to decrease and my thoughts turn to both relief and self criticism for believing that the worst was going to happen. I tend to have these thoughts wherever I am believing that I know what people are thinking, that they are criticizing me or unfairly judging me, generally just catastrophised rumination of the situation.
Low self esteem comes in to play believing I’m not worth anyone’s time, generally questioning in my head, why is this person or people hanging around with me, all the time never really enjoying their company instead letting my mind drift in what’s become my pretty awesome alternate reality, by the end of the time we’ve spent in each others company I’d find myself sad that it’s come to an end. I think though I’m finally getting over this, instead of questioning why, I now remain in the moment of enjoying their company and by the end depart happy because of the time we had just spent together.
I think when It comes to feeling anxious when meeting up with family or friends it’ll always be there I’ve just got a better handle on controlling it so that I’m able to feel more relaxed around them.
I think I’ll end this post by saying revelations are abound when it comes to self discovery around anxiety, good friends and family are our most inexhaustible source to happiness in this life.
© Lewis Bull 2016
Read Lewis’ previous contributions:
- The Goblin Known as Anxiety and Stress
- Anxiety and Solitude
- Anxiety and Friendships
- Anxiety and being on Benefits
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha
The wonderful photograph was taken by GoaShape and acquired through Unsplash. It’s a great source for free photos under the Creative Commons Zero license, so check it out!