In my last post I wrote about how stress and anxiety has affected my life, I also touched upon the solitude/isolation that comes along with said anxiety.
So I thought I’d write about how I’ve both come to rely on and resent my solitude.
My experience started over 10 years ago, Where I would withdraw to my room due to silly stupid comments/criticisms and I eventually grew comfortable in silence.
This then turned into something more, instead of just avoiding family at home my anxiety grew to me avoiding family occasions, when they left I’d be happy in solitude/silence and would bask in the glory of an empty house for just a few hours. When they came home they’d tell me what a good a time they had, resentment started to grow (I know what you’re thinking just go to the next get-together, but alas my anxiety wouldn’t allow me).
When I finished college, spending time with friends became a thing of the past, it was at first a natural separation of friends I accepted this, for a time I accepted/lived what seemed a solitary life.
For the next few years I grew comfortable living like this, regularly doing things by myself, occasionally going out with my mum or dad, beyond this you’d regularly see me on my own, I became comfortable enough I didn’t care what anyone thought and became used to seeing old friends in the street and making pleasantries, I took solace in my solitude.
That’s how life went for a short while. Then earlier this year, I got back in contact with family members I’d not seen in a long time, Time in between us hasn’t diminished that family bond is in fact stronger than ever.
Also this year whilst battling my anxiety and trying to step out of solitude for the first time in a long time I made genuine new friends.
This is Lewis saying life can change don’t accept it as it is.
© Lewis Bull 2015
Read Lewis’ previous contribution: The Goblin Known as Anxiety and Stress
“Hope is a good thing no good thing ever dies.” – The Shawshank Redemption
The wonderful photograph was taken by Joshua Earle and acquired through Unsplash. It’s a great source for free photos under the Creative Commons Zero license, so check it out!