Oh how I love you
and wish you were near
when we are together
conquering the world
is always near!
Oh how I hate you
and wish I could flee
the words you are always
screaming at me:
Worthless! Hopeless! Unlovable!
Inadequate! Boring! Weak! Undeserving!
You can be so relentless, so cruel and mean,
heartless to Me who carries Your pain!
How this world of mine collides
My hero, My nemesis
from one day to the next,
who will be with me?
I am so tired of this!
I walk the tightrope you lie before me
fearing in each and every step
the next one might be the one
where I slip.
Why can’t we come
to some understanding?
Release this ever-present tension
between us, reach a balance
not too high and not too low,
and finally live a life in harmony?
© MemeesMusings/B.L. Memee, 2015-2017. All rights reserved.
About the author:
I am third-generation bipolar, but am happy to report that so far it appears that my 21-year-old son has not inherited this curse. That is the most important thing to me, that he be balanced and find happiness and fulfillment in his life. Me, I struggle every day not knowing if something will arise to trigger an emotional swing. Medications do a great job at quashing the mania but help little in staving off the depression and so, for the most part, my life is spent in the vast abyss of bipolar depression which leaves me crippled emotionally and isolated from others. I spend these days working on my blog Memee’s Musings or trying to sleep it off, which truly is a sad state to live the one life we are given. With my son, now raised and out of the house, I have returned to school (online) in the unrealistic hopes of rekindling the career I once had before my illness became too overwhelming and functioning “normally” an event occurring far and few between. Still, it gives me something to focus on and do other than sleep, so that’s a good thing.
Blog: Memee’s Musings
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Theodor Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss)